I could get lost looking for the perfect photo for this post. Or...I could just write it. Action is seeming to be the better choice for me today. And hopefully for the next hundred days or so. Why 100? I don't know, it just sounded good. In this moment, I will consider taking action for one minute a success! I have the tendency to hide out, go off the grid, hide under the radar, retreat, and avoid when I am feeling fear. What do I feel fear about? You name it. Painting, calling myself an artist, the unknown, letting myself be seen, owning my power, living big. I do notice that the fear has less power these days. I think I've finally got it's number. Yep, that's right, I do. It's a lie. All lies. Hiding behind it is getting me nowhere. And moving through it might just get me everywhere.
I am receiving HEAPS of information in Kelly Rae Roberts e-course flying lessons, and I could easily hide behind that. Use the overwhelm (which is a fabulous overwhelm, by the way) to sit in the midst of indecision, and inaction. But my heart says try something new, put it out there. Play, have some fun, create! Give yourself permission to go for it. I won't let the lies that fear tells me become truth. Not today. Today my truth is that I wrote up a schedule for myself, one that will allow me to make my dreams happen. A schedule that includes time for work, and time for play. A work schedule. Written by me (the boss) for me (the employee). How lucky am I that I have the opportunity to write my own schedule?
You see there's a part of me that resists strict schedules, any schedules really. I don't want to feel trapped, restricted, or stuck. At the same time, I recognize the fact that I may be using those phrases to stay trapped, restricted, and stuck. What?! Hang with me...I'm uncovering the truth here. The truth is that being my own boss is a privilege, and I feel really lucky. The truth is that I use feeling trapped by a schedule as a way to play small. The truth is that I haven't been as successful as I would like, because I use hating schedules as an excuse. The truth is that I need a schedule. And the truth is, I get to write it, so I can make it as flexible as I want it.
Things may always be a little free flowing with me, but who the H E doublehockeysticks says that a schedule can't be. It most certainly can be whatever works. Does working from 6 in the morning til 2 in the afternoon float your boat? Go for it. Do you want to work from 8 at night until 4 in the morning? Go for it. Do you want to work in your jammies? Do you want to wear stillettos at home...whatever floats your boat. Do you want to take your computer to the coffee shop and write? Do it. Sit by the pool with your laptop. It's yours. Create art on the grass in your backyard? Have at it! Maybe you have a full time job, and you don't have much time to create...find a few minutes here and there, and make it important. Believe in it's importance. Believe in your importance. Whatever the case, don't let fear keep you from living the life of your dreams.
I get caught up in thinking of schedules as a traditional 9 to 5, or something along those lines. And it doesn't have to be. So I am embracing my free flowiness this week, amidst a schedule. We'll see how it works, and if it doesn't, I'll adjust it. It may be something that is ever evolving, and that's ok too. I'm taking charge of the fear, the inaction, and moving toward my future (even if it's in baby steps). I am the boss afterall.