Thoughts on Haiti.

I have been feeling very melancholy the last several days, and keeping to myself except for the occasional retweet that I feel inspired to do when I'm lurking on twitter and blogs. Part of the melancholy is due to the situation in Haiti, and the other part is an inner shift with me. I haven't found the words to adequately describe the inner shift, and truthfully, I don't feel like now is the proper time.

The people of Haiti need our attention, love, blessings, donations, whatever form of help we can give. And while I was on Twitter today, I saw that Kelly Diels had posted a blog challenge to help inspire as many people as possible to do something. We all know the state of the economy, we all feel it. But there is something that can be done - whether it's anonymous, whether you have a service/product to offer and will donate the proceeds, whether you donate a large amount or a small amount, whether you are saying prayers, whether you will blog about it to help shed a light, whatever it is...it counts.

 I read a comment on a blog this morning and the person said something to the effect of - if we all put our drop in the bucket, eventually it will overflow. And that's so true. It's easy to feel like we don't have enough, but the truth is that we have a hell of a lot more than the people in Haiti right now. There are many options - do what feels right for you. You can text yele to 501 501 and $5 goes on your next phone bill, or you can text Haiti to 90999 and $10 goes to the Red Cross. You can give to Oxfam , Doctors Without Borders , Clinton Foundation or Unicef . These are just a few examples of charities, many blogs have provided more complete lists, but I wanted to put a few out there.

Just don't feel small. Because we are all one, and if we all do something, then not only do the people of Haiti benefit, but so do we individually and collectively. I'm doing my personal thing to donate, you do yours...all drops in a bucket and it overflows.

Trees. Women. Beauty. And BS.

I have been a little too inspired by CED 2010. My mind has been going. And going. And going. Which can either be good or bad. You see if you know me, you know that I have the tendancy to get into my head. I've talked about it before...my little problem with analysis paralysis. That's the bad part of it. But the good part is that it has me feeling so inspired! I'm flexing my creative muscles. I work them out on a regular basis, but you know when you change up your routine...you feel it in places you haven't in a while? And it feels gooood. *Just thought I'd share what's going on in the noggin, now on to the topic at hand...

Body is the theme for January . I have been thinking of it in every sense of the word. And one of the paths that I travelled...whilst thinking...was the tree. So I had a little adventure the other day. I went around checking out trees bodies, taking in all of their uniqueness, loving them for being them - just the way they are.  Each and every tree was different and beautiful...some were short, some were tall, some were thin, some were not so thin, some with smooth bark, some with not so smooth bark, some were barren, some were full of leaves, some had crooked trunks, some had perfect posture, some were a little brittle, and some were oozing succulence. My adventure with the trees made me think about women and the way we perceive beauty.

  

                

We as women are often either too hard on ourselves, too hard on others, or some combination of the two. Every one of us is different...but each of us are beautiful. Made perfect right from the very beginning - as are the trees I photographed. One of the things that I feel so passionate about is empowering women and girls. We should grow up understanding that we are perfect. We all deserve that. 

Notice the beauty in the women around you today. In every shape and size. With all of the different characteristics that each holds. See the beauty in those differences. Including those you see in the mirror. You are beautiful.

Whether you are in a great place. A blue place. A lost place. An on top of the world place. No matter where you are... or how you are. Know that we continue to have the beauty. It doesn't go away. We may forget about it. We may believe something that someone else has said about us. We may believe something that we say to ourselves when we look in the mirror. But the truth is, our beauty is inherent. In our cells, and in our souls. The trees know it - they don't have to deal with all of that BS.

This Day. Five Years Ago.

The first few days of the year have taken on a new meaning for me, in the last 5 years. I want to say that I am unaware of the cause of it - but I'm not really. These last few days I've been feeling it... but not acknowledging it  - until today. I lost someone very close to me this day. January 5. Five years ago. I was feeling so upbeat and so empowered to take on 2010; I went from feeling like I was going to rule the year, to a withered, and sunken place. There was much that went with him that day. Things that I never got to say. So many untied loose ends. Anger. Sadness. Love. Pain.

I want to honor these feelings I've been having today, and honor the life that was lost too soon. To do that I must acknowledge them, and give them the attention that they deserve. In doing this, I am giving myself the permission I need to move forward. To get started on the year ahead, embrace what is to come, and to live with purpose. This has been the pattern for the last five years, and I accept it. This day is forever changed for me. And I am forever changed because of it.

At the end of this post, I can sit with a smile and a full heart. Because growth is oh so good! If I truly reflect...I don't think I've given my feelings the full breadth of acknowledgement that they deserve until this year, on this day. In fact, I think that the last 4 years have gotten off to a slower start because of it. With that - I now officially step into 2010 with a smile and a full heart :)

More Blogging, More Interacting.

In an effort to get myself blogging on a regular basis, I am taking part in two blog prompt challenges (which I'd like to call opportunities - makes me feel better about it). The first is Creative Every Day 2010 by Leah Piken Kolidas (which from here on out will be referred to as CED 2010). And the other is The Mindfulist from Gwen Bell . I am looking forward to participating in both! I just thought I would share my intention with all of you, to blog more, and to interact with you more. What are you doing more of this year? Are any of you planning to participate in either of the above?

Making it Through.

I have been crazed for the the last couple of weeks. The ugly truth of it, is that I was unprepared and unorganized. I've been making my rings and it's not a full blown business yet, so I was unprepared for the busyness of it all. The rush kicked my butt a bit. That in conjunction with my darling husband turning 40, and trying to throw him a surprise party on Christmas night nonetheless, also helped with the butt kicking.

The holiday boutiques, the scheduling, the production time... was and is all new to me. All proceeds went to both Christmas and the party, and not knowing what the proceeds would actually be...added to my craziness. I was a ring making machine, all consumed. Next year, I will be entering the holiday season with with a definite plan of attack, and earlier than I thought I needed to this year. Once I got through the last of the boutiques, I went into full blown birthday mode! I ran around picking up the cake, decorations, beverages, food, etc. While spinning tales and misleading my husband all the way. The good news is that the party went off without a hitch (a few hiccups, of course!). And we survived Christmas. The next morning we headed to Vegas to celebrate a dear friend's 40th birthday. Tired yes. Exhausted yes. Happy Yes. Fun Yes. Happy it's over?...Yes.

Through it all, the one thing that I have been feeling a bit melancholy about, is not keeping up with the Gwen Bell's Best of 2009 Blog Challenge . I have the tendancy to create hurdles for myself. I create expectations for myself. I let the gremlins creep in and whisper mean things. And I was starting down the road. You know the one?... Or do you? That long and winding road. It takes me to a place at the bottom of a steep hill, the place from which if I allow myself to, I can look up and think about what I should have done. What I could have done. And how far of a climb it will be to get back to where I was. Though this time...I thwarted those pesky gremlins! I felt it for a few moments, and then decided that it's all been worth it. If I could go back and do it all again...sure I would be more organized, more prepared. I would blog every single day. I would have allowed for some more breathing time for myself. But in the end the outcome is all that really matters. And I did it. I made it through. I enjoyed myself most of the time. I threw a kick ass surprise party. I got to spend quality time with friends and family. And I asked for help when I needed it - that is huge.

So in this moment. I am happy with where I'm at. Will I finish out the rest of the #best09 challenge? I plan to. But if I don't make it, will I be any less? No.  Hot damn...does that feel good! I am liking the way 2010 is looking already.

My Best Project of 2009. Me.

December 21. Project. What did you start this year that you're proud of?

Things have been strange this year. I was contracting myself to another designer throughout '08, and for the first several months of this year. Things had slowed down so much for her business that we all took a hiatus for a few weeks. And that few weeks has turned into months. Normally I would have panicked, but this time I made a conscious decision to enjoy the moment. Embrace the time. Do something new. Spend time with friends.

I started with a sewing class. I discovered that I am not bad at it! In fact I actually enjoy it, and really enjoy sewing zippers in. Why that is, I'm not sure...but I love me some zippers! I also started making rings this year. I opened an etsy shop . I went with things a little more than usual. I struggled with the details of starting a business. I tried to jump in and not worry about all of the minute details. I challenged myself to step out of the shadows, to interact with people more. I practiced being present. I trusted that what I needed would be provided, even if I wasn't sure exactly how. I got back to exercising. I ate healthier (that is until the holidays snuck up on me). I forgave others. I'm starting to forgive myself. I took time to breathe. I enjoyed the beauty of  nature. I started a blog. I started to step into my authenticity - into "me".

I guess the project that I started this year, the thing that I am most proud of, is a little project called "me". I think that 2010 is going to be a continuation of what was begun in '09. And I'm looking forward to diving in head first, with complete abandon!

* this post is part of Gwen Bell's - The Best of 2009 Blog Challenge

Best Car Ride of 2009.

December 19.  Car ride of 2009. What did you see? How did it smell? Did you eat anything as you drove there? Who were you with? This prompt is part of  Gwen Bell's Best of 2009 Blog Challenge. A look back at my personal "bests" of 2009.

This feels like cheating...but it really was my best car ride of 2009! 

The only thing that I think will hold a candle to it, will happen after today (actually after Christmas). We will be road tripping it to Vegas with our friends...how can that not be fun? Right? Two couples on a road trip = double the fun. At least that's how I am envisioning it! And since I haven't lived it yet....the other car ride is definitely it.