It's a Work in Progress.

Rings from olive & hope

Starting a business is a challenge for me. My creative brain goes a little haywire. I will go to it, one step at a time -  I started with my etsy shop . It's still a tiny little thing, but I will do just as I said.....grow it one step at a time. SARK calls them MicroMOVEments ,of course my brain instantly says...you can't spread your tasks out over that much time....but I guess that's why I'm a work in progress ;)  I've added a few more rings to the shop, and over the next several days I will add some more....that's where I'm at right now.

Blogging is Causing Me "Humps".

I have what I like to call "humps". That tension spot at the top of your shoulders, and base of your neck. The only thing that I can attribute it to, is the fact that I am putting myself out there more lately. I'm partcipating in NaBloPoMo , I've been tweeting , and I have been actively participating (commenting) on some of the blogs that I've lurked around for about 2 years now. And apparently it makes me tense.

I am working through it. So today's blog post may not be earth shatteringly good (are they ever?), or even remotely interesting to some...but it's where I'm at, and I am going to stick with it. The fear of rejection, or judgement, or worse... is what causes these "humps". I have had the desire to blog for a couple of years now, and I can find any number of reasons to talk myself out of it on any given day. I let myself swirl around in the unknowns - do I really have something of interest to say?. Get too caught up in details - how do I legally post pictures of products or things I'd like to talk about?. Feel like I need to have all of the answers, before I can begin - absolutely every question about posting, linking, tagging, commenting, seo, how do I balance personal and professional?. Let the worries about rejection creep in - will people like me?.

I'm open to change, and in fact, have been actively pursuing it in my life for quite a while now. I want to be more open, to fully embrace myself, and to be able to stand firmly in my truth. I don't know if these insecurities come from being a creative person, or if it's upbringing? Or a combination of things....I do notice that a lot of creatives have the same self doubt coursing through their veins. It always amazes me to hear an amazingly talented person, who still doubts their right to have good things happen, or who doesn't clearly see their worth. But I continue to hear it from others. And I continue to do it to myself.

Today I am going to embrace the beauty of it all (including the "humps"). I can acknowledge the tension as a sign of change, and keep moving forward. Maybe I will even celebrate the change, with a much needed neck massage! :)

I Finally Watched Marley & Me.

This is how I watched Marley and Me. Curled up on the sofa with my 100lb. chocolate lab sleeping snugly next to me. I waited soooo long to watch it...and then did it like this? What was I thinking? For the first hour and half I was loving him and all of his Marleyesque-ness, and then the blubbering ensued. Of course just as the end came, my boy had scooted himself all the way into my lap, making the whole thing even more intense! I was trying to explain it to my husband this morning (who refuses to watch the movie by the way), and the best I could do was say that I was "wailing". You know the unattractive, messy kind of cry. The kind that you can't get control of. Even the poor dog kept tilting his head backward to check on me.

You see, my husband came on the scene when our wonder dog (as I like to call him) was about 1 year old (he is now 7 1/2). Before then he was mine all mine. The first time they met, my boy lifted his leg on a suitcase that was laying out in my new boyfriend's home. And got so oversimulated that he sort of frothed at the mouth...getting slobber everywhere. I wasn't sure if I would ever get a call from him again. But it turned out to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship, and today they are the very best of friends. In fact he is our only child, as of yet....

The movie had so many parts that reminded me of our messy but happy family. Messy not in terms of sloppiness, but rather our imperfect but happy little world. We are the 3 Muskateers, and have had so many adventures together. Adventures that are sometimes all fun, and ones that we've walked away from, ready to never speak to the wonder dog again. But his overflowing cup of love runneth over always, and we are at the end of the day, so lucky to have him. The lessons that we've learned from him are immeasureable. He's taught us about unconditional love, about sacrifice, about loving someone just the way they are, that it's ok to be messy and imperfect, and he's given us the gift of the closest thing to parenting we've achieved so far. We are a family....and no matter what life brings us, we always have that.

It's unfair to expect people to be perfect, because no one is. Loving someone means embracing it all, the good, the bad, and sometimes the ugly. Seeing the true spirit in someone, is one of the greatest gifts we can give. Recognizing the human-ness in people, even in strangers, would make the world a much better place. Today I will go out into the world, I will embrace my own imperfections, and I will look at others with a softer focus too. You never know where you will learn a lesson...or who you will learn it from.

Touches of Halloween.

Every year we try to decide how much to decorate for Halloween. We don't have any wee ones yet, but we are pretty enthusiastic about (all) holiday decorating nonetheless! There is a point where decorations go overboard, and I will admit it....I have been an offender once or twice, (especially when we were first together) it was a holiday decor explosion. Our two worlds collided and a holiday sonic boom ensued! We have since tamed it down and brought it back to a respectable level, one that this "self respecting designer" can live with. My honey and I are both silly and easily entertained, and this is one of our outlets.

I thought I would share my favorite little guy this Halloween before it's too late.

I just love him.

I love his vintage quality first, the striped arms and legs, and the jack o lantern bucket he's carrying. He pretty much just makes me smile. We are gearing up for tomorrow night....holding out hope that we will get more than one or two trick-or-treaters (like we do every year). We'll be enjoying our Halloween Eve by carving pumpkins, looking for something spooky to watch, and preparing our wonder pup for the possibility of lots of knocks on the door tomorrow night.

Blogging Paralysis

I haven't been blogging as much as I hoped to. I get stuck in a place sometimes, and can't seem to get out of it...one of those places has to do with the use of photos, rules of creative commons, etc. I am feeling gripped by "analysis paralysis" too much thinking... focusing on details, and not making any progress. But I have vowed to push through...that's become my mantra the last few days. It seems to be working so far...here I am writing a little post - without pictures even.

I really love the idea of blogging. Now I just have to do it. Even if it's just text for now. That's where I'm at. Maybe I will even reach out to one of the lovelies that I am a loyal reader of, and ask for help.

Twitter - To Tweet or Not to Tweet

I've had a twitter account set up for a few months, but just haven't been sure what to say...I got on today and posted my first tweet...and I'm still  not convinced. I read so much about social media and the power of it all, and I really want to get on board, but it's a struggle to find my voice in the "world wide web". It feels so vast to me! However, this is a challenge I want to take. Tweet - one at a time, until I find my voice amongst the other tweeters. See where it goes without having all of the answers up front. I am extending the hand of friendship to you twitter, let's see where this thing goes!

A Walk on the Beach Made Me Think

I do this walk a couple of times a week, a portion of it's trail, and the rest of it is sand. I was walking this morning, the tide was high, there was little room for walking, and I caught myself focusing on each and every step I took. My thoughts and awareness, were not on the beauty that I was surrounded with...they were on my steps, and making sure that I was steady on the loosely packed sand.

It made me think, how many of us are so focused on the path that we are on... each and every step, calculating and worrying about every move?? What if we were to stop thinking so much, and took the time to be grateful for the small things? To appreciate the beauty around us? A smile from a stranger. The clothes on our back. The color of the sky. The beauty of the ocean. The sound of our families. The smell of our food. Our own uniqueness.....

If we all got down to basics, would it ease the struggles? Times are hard for many people right now, and there's always someone who is struggling more than you or me. Maybe it wouldn't take away your worries about paying the mortgage or rent. Maybe it wouldn't ease the exhaustion you're feeling from working two jobs. Maybe it wouldn't ease the pain or the loneliness that some are feeling. But maybe, if in those moments, we are able to see the beauty in the small things....we will open ourselves up to something more. An appreciation for the basics. Maybe we'll become the one who starts smiling at strangers, even if we're not feeling particularly overjoyed. Maybe that stranger appreciates that single smile, in that one moment...and passes it on.....and so on.

Calculated moves, worry, and meticulous planning, don't always bring the results we hope for. Maybe a few moments of appreciation, and awareness is all it takes to open the door to a new opportunity, or a new outlook on what the day will bring. One moment of awareness is all it could take to make a difference in one life or many.....wow. I got all that from a walk on the beach?....  :)