freedom to play.

Last week I read and watched a few things online, and found myself feeling like I needed play. I think of myself as a pretty playful person...and yet, when I look at my days, I have a lot of rules set up around it (play, I mean). I've been looking at patterns and stories in my life a ton lately, noticing places where I believe one thing, and can clearly see another happening. As in the Play area of my life. I can be silly, creative, childlike, and joyful. And as much as all of that is true...I find the amount of space I allow into my life for those things to be small.

I was acutely aware of the need for play the other day after watching this video from a retreat that a couple of dear friends attended. I felt myself pouting. Not because I was feeling jealous about the retreat, but rather, because I was longing to have some fun. I wanted some of that. I can honestly say that in the past, I may have just sank in and thrown myself pity party. I could have gone down a road of thinking things like, I hardly ever have fun, or I want a girls trip, or I want permission to play. On this particular day, as I sat and thought about play, I was moved to take action, I wrote myself a permission slip. I consciously made a choice to make my own fun. I grabbed my phone to see if it had a self timer...and it does in fact, I'm happy to say! I set myself up in front of the window for some impromtu self portrait jump shots. Inspired by Vivienne and her You are Your Own Muse course.

I found myself giggling, breathing heavy, sweating, jumping, and jumping. And Jumping. In the end, I had a shot that I loved, and I also got a few shots that made me laugh even more. It was all about freedom of choice that day. And every day. It reminded me of my own power, and that it's something that I have access to all of the time. No time for pity parties, and wishing to do this or that.

Are you listening to yourself...what are you longing for more of? There is something to be said for making a tiny bit of space for what you are craving. Is it love? Is it creativity? Is it fun? Is it eating more greens? Is it writing? Is it exercise? Is it laying on the grass and looking at the clouds? The point is that you just get up and do it. Not whether you do it perfectly, or often/long enough, or have the right lighting. Or whether you look great while you are doing it. Perfect circumstances & conditions are not a requirement.

If you pay attention, and you are noticing it. That pull....the feeling of, I want some of that...Please do yourself a favor and spend five or ten minutes doing it, or some part of it. Impromtu, half assedly, thrown together, completely unplanned. Just. Get. To. It. You are so worth it. Yes YOU are.

I believe that {I want some of that} feeling, is where we are when we are feeling comparisons, and jealousy. And I think that is where the opportunity is to stand in our own power. Because there is nothing stopping each of us from having it, except ourselves. If we can sit in the feeling, and really look at where it comes from...it all goes back to me, or you...simply wanting some bit of that for ourselves. And that my friend is a beautiful thing...it's your higher self telling you what you need. Take heed, and listen.

What is your higher self telling you that you need more of in your life? Do tell....