Friday, July 16, 2010

More Bits and Pieces.

It's looking as though my Friday's F posts, are quickly turning into a regular Fun Facts series. I'm going with it, and not thinking about it too much because right now, I'm mostly interested in being invested and showing up. Even if showing up is all that I can do. So here goes ~

I am an only child. Born to parents that were barely out of their teens, and who often chose partying over parenting. I'm so thankful to know now that they did the best they could.

My Grandma on my Dad's side, always joked that she was my Fairy Grandmother. We had a lot of fun together. We watched sports (the beginning of my allegiance to the Lakers), played board games, colored and drew pictures, watched crime dramas on tv, went shopping, and read books. She was child like, and we connected deeply. We ate lots of carbs together, one of her signature dishes was beef stew and cinnamon rolls. She was one half of my Wonder Gram Duo.

My Grandma on my Mom's side, is really creative, though I don't think I realized that growing up. She is the one who knits, sews, does needlepoint, and cooks delicious food. Honestly, I don't know if she realizes how creative she is. I learned about eating healthy in her household...even if I didn't embrace what I learned until I got older. I was inspired by all of the fun things she does for hobbies - knitting, sewing, and needlepoint. She is the other half.

I could go on and on about my Grandmas, and all of the things I learned from them. It's amazing to be able to look back and clearly see the balance of what I was exposed to. One very liberal household, and one very conservative. One very religious, and one not so much. One household that always had pets, one that didn't. One that had a meat and potatoes kind of diet, and one that baked fresh bread, ate whole grains, and lots of lean meat and vegetables. One household was active and exercised regularly, and one that didn't. These are a few examples.

I am grateful for the family I was born into. All of it - the good and the bad. I believe I chose my family and that all was exactly as it should have been. My household with my parents was more chaotic than that of my grandparents, but I was provided with plenty of support in the form of family and friends. I have always been taken care of. Always loved by all of them. And today I stand firmly rooted in gratitude for all of it.

I have learned throughout life to keep things quiet. That it's better to not share what's going on, than to risk people really knowing. It may cause embarassment, or shame, or godknowswhat. This story is no longer serving me. It's made me an uber private person, and I have found myself regularly feeling nervous to write on my blog because of it. So I chose to share some of my history growing up as a way to dip my toes in the water. To test out talking about things that may make me a little squeamish. I don't want my blog to be just about struggles / life stuff, and I'm working out how to mix both the business side of what I'm doing with where I'm at. I would love for it to be a balance of both. I am who I am because of where I've been; I wouldn't be on my current path without all of it. My desire is for my blog to represent me - living authentically, creating, loving, running a creative business, finding my way, and stepping into my power. In order for it to be that, I must risk being seen. This is what my intuition is telling me. Over and over again.

Is your intution or inner voice whispering something to you? If so, what is it saying?

2 comments:

  1. Can I just say before anything else that I love your little ditty that says you are lovely. thanks for taking the time to comment. It's gorgeous. But moving on :)
    I'm so glad you've shared something of your familial background and how it's shaped you, Danelle. It's great reading and I love the details! I too am an only child and I too grew up to be very quiet and private. Of course, you probably wouldn't know that reading my blog now! LOL! :D But it's been an avenue for leaping out of that private mindset. I can recall several times in my life being called "mysterious" and not really knowing what was meant by that. I get it now but it took me a long time to do so. The risk to "be seen" isn't to be taken lightly but there are potential rewards. For whatever it may mean to you, I "see" a little of you and very much like what I see. But I hope that's not important. Living shamelessly and openly and expressively is what's important. And that is very much my wish for you.
    xo

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  2. Meg you are lovely. Thank you for popping in and "seeing" me on a regular basis. I love that you come and sit with me for a spell. I too have gotten the mysterious, or aloof labels and it took me a long to time to get it too. You are so right about there being both risks and rewards...because my interest is in living an authentic life, I would say that it is worth all the risks, and I will certainly welcome all rewards! who doesn't love a good reward now and them right? ;-) Your wish for me is a beauty, me thinks I shall write it in my journal. xo

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you are lovely. thanks for taking the time to comment.