The question is coming at me from all angles, and I am talking from all angles people. It's been asked during my live conversations with lovely people, via blogs, via twitter, via Danielle LaPorte’s book Style Statement. Everywhichway I turn….there it is.
Dear Universe, I hear you. Dually noted. I got ya. Loud and clear. Shot through the heart and you're to blame (couldn't resist). I am awake and focused. Listening to those whispers. Looking for a common thread in all that I want to do. Paying close attention to those things that have been with me for all of my life.
For the last couple of weeks, I have been sitting with the question. Feeling a bit frustrated that I don’t have a succinct answer. Frustrated that I don’t have more clarity on this. But between yesterday and today, I feel that I may have a bit more insight. I don’t have to have all of the answers. I have just have to…listen to the whispers. Pay attention to what my lessons in life have been. Take a look at what I’m good at. Think back to all of the things that I have been through and accomplished and see a common thread.
And today thanks to Carmen Torbus, I am playing with the idea of what it would mean to be a supporter of people. Women and girls specifically. I have said from the time I was young, that I was going to do something to empower women and girls. I guess part of what keeps me from claiming that for myself is my thinking….how could I make a living doing that? And can I combine that with art?
Why can’t I dream big? Why can’t I make money doing something that I feel so passionately about? Who's to stop me? What's to stop me? Why would I allow it/them to stop me?
I instantly go to the place of resistance though. My inner critic starts chattering in my ear…who do you think you are to say that? You don’t have it all together, so what makes you think that you can encourage anyone else and have them believe you? Why would anyone want encouragement from the girl who’s been living small?
Wait a minute who's in charge here?...oh yes, it's me.
I am here to say that today, I know with certainty that this is my inner critic talking (which exhibits some really good personal growth). And just because the thought pops into my head, it does not make it the truth. It does not have to take up permanent residence in my life or my head. I am a supporter of people. A supporter of dreams. A supporter of the arts. A supporter of love, authenticity, and empowerment. A supporter of women loving themselves exactly as they are. Where they are.
How does this play into me figuring out the answer to the question? Well, to that I have to say…I don’t know for sure. But I am clear that it is ok to be unsure. I have my eyes and ears open to those whispers. And while I’m at it, I am going to give myself permission to claim the big dreams, and not minimize them for fear of looking foolish. Because honestly, to me…foolishness seems more like denying yourself the whispers of your heart. I believe that our souls carry messages and/or all of the answers…and we are continually given opportunities to uncover them. Ignoring those opportunities over and over…seems much more cockamamy than taking the time to listen and pay attention.
Hi there!
ReplyDeleteI found your blog on Twitter through Julie Daley, Emma James, etc.; and I'm so glad to be here! While I am sure that this post comes from a place of uncertainty, pain and fear, I am also sure that your honesty is an inspiration for people (like me) in a similar situation.
It's difficult to fight that voice in our heads that tells us we're unworthy, but it's often that voice that spurs us on to do great things.
I'm looking forward to checking back and seeing what you've done with that voice and this time in your life.
Blessings,
Jenn
I love reading these words! Yes, the whispers. Oh, that voice in your head will say what it says...roommates are like that. I'm so smiling from ear-to-ear, dear. It's lovely to visit you here, again. You're writing up a storm!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Julie
So fabulous to read your words. Sounds like you are at an exciting crossroads and asking all the right questions.
ReplyDeleteWhat I've found is that once we really give ourselves room to ask these questions and here our answers, things can't not change. The how / manifestation part kinda starts to take care of itself.
I look forward to hearing what evolves for you next.
Warmly, Tara
I so wish you could be on this Journey that I am on (do you remember reading about that on my blog?) You are talking about so many of the things that we are working on in our group. and I think you've got the right idea. You need to give yourself permission to dream big and also know that it is okay to be unsure of your path. You need to accept every emotion that you have as a part of yourself...and honor their presence in your life. and most importantly...be gentle with yourself! :)
ReplyDeleteJenn thanks for making your way over here. Funny, I was looking at the comments on twitter yesterday thinking...how did we miss connecting? And here you are! :) I'm a firm believer that those voices show up because we are on the right path, and they come in the midst of growth to push us along to greatness. Looking forward to you coming along for the ride!
ReplyDeleteJulie it has been coming at me from all angles...this very question! Thank you for being one of the lovely people who asked it of me. After two days full of it, and marinating in our fab conversation...this post came out. Flowed, just like we talked about. Can't wait for the next one! big love to you.
Tara you are so right about giving ourselves room to ask these questions. I really don't think that I've ever allowed myself to really consider HUGE possibilities. It will be intersting to see what comes up! Thanks for stopping in and commenting. I so appreciate you.
Sara I wish I was on your journey with you too (in fact, I think I said that on your blog!). I'd love to hear more about what's going on with yours. I still think that it's amazing that your hubby gifted you with the experience. Love that! Thank you for the support, I really do appreciate it.