Dwell in possibility ~ Emily Dickinson
I was asked the other day - if a Genie granted you three wishes what would they be? My answers were as follows - One | I would wish for my big dream (more on that later) for my career to come to fruition. It is both creatively and soul fulfilling, and those are both at the top of my priority list. Two | Good flow of money coming in. Consistently. Three | (This is where it got sticky for me) I would absolutely wish for babies. My first inclination was to wish for only one. But the truth is, if I were Really wishing. I would wish for two (because that is what I want). In this moment, while writing down my three wishes, I realized that I was holding back on wishing for myself. Myself! Thank goodness for self awareness. I took a deep breath, erased what I wrote, and added
I've mentioned before that my brain goes to lack first, and then in these moments of presence I catch myself and am able to shift course. This is a pattern I've lived with all of my life. Lack. So I am very grateful for the gift of awareness. It is life changing. We get stuck in patterns, moving through life as though we are on auto pilot. Rolling with the thoughts in our head, without questioning who or what is in control. We all do it - it's part of the human condition. But the beauty is...there is possibility in awareness, simply noticing, without even having to act. Or having to make some big giant leap. Just the act of noticing is all it takes, and with regular practice you begin to see those places where you get tripped up. Then the self awareness starts happening more often. And things start happening in your life - even without the giant death defying leaps, even with teeny tiny baby steps.
The baby thing is just one example of how the lack comes up for me, I could insert any number of words to fill in the __________. Money. Love. Success. Self Care. Etc. It's about claiming my worthiness. Recognizing my worthiness. I'm not saying that I am constantly in a low state|feeling down|wishing my life was different|feeling like life is not fair|searching for something outside myself. Though I do have those moments, I think if we're honest, we all do. The thought pops in - oh no, I couldn't/shouldn't have that. That's not responsible. Or prudent. Or possible. Whether it's having children, a new fulfilling career, more income, a new car, a trip to Europe, a trip to San Francisco, a big dream of any sort, being an arist, writing a book, splurging on a really fantastic dinner out, treating yourself to skin care or a pedicure, buying a new pair of shoes or three (I mean really...it is those simple things that we deny ourselves sometimes). I say it's all hooey! Let me be the first to say that perpetually dwelling in a lack mentality reeeallly puts a damper on wishing. So let's just do away with that! Yes of course there are bills to pay, and neccessities. But there is also possibility. Ways in which things work out if we only allow ourselves to wish it first.
It's in the moments of awareness that I know (you know, at the core of my being) that I AM worthy of all good. It's not something I need or have to change, it already exists - I just need to be present to it. And the feelings/thoughts of lack and separation are just that. Me on auto pilot. Rolling with it. Until I notice it. And then the possibility begins. So wish away...I say. To both myself and to you.
What 3 wishes would you ask the Genie to grant? dream big.
You deserve it.