I've been absent from this space for the most part over the last couple of months, I've been going through a bit of a shift and haven't been sure what to write about, or how to express it. One thing that I have been doing is practicing massive amounts of gentleness, and noticing of the judgements I pass on myself on a regular basis. The noticing helps me tremendously, and those are the times when I've really been able to step into being gentle. It's been an intense time of growth, stretching, quiet, looking inward, being present, and lots and lots of breathing.
I recently had a birthday, and I don't know what it is about this year...it feels like it's going to be a big one. A hugely blessed year. And I'm off to a helluvah start. Understanding things about myself that have eluded me up to this point. Seeing the world in new and exciting ways. Feeling this g i a n t heartspace ready for whatever is yet to come. And leaning into some things that really scare me.
One of the scary things that I'm doing is participating in Vivienne McMaster's You Are Your Own Muse e-course, focused on self portraits. Being photographed makes me squirmy to begin with, and then my own insecurities of not being a photographer come into play. If I've ever been asked to list something (some secret desire) that I have an interest in doing, photography is always there. Do I carry a camera around with me? no. Am I the one at parties, and on vacations snapping all of the photos? no. Do I hear the whisper? yes. One thing I will say, is that as scared as I am, I'm also excited about it. I'm looking forward to seeing myself in new and unexpected ways. And I'm looking forward to seeing the other lovely participants through their eyes. Leaning into the fears, and loving myself along the way. It's going to be one big beautiful messy experiment.
Vivienne is leaving registration open for a bit, and there are just a few spots left. The musing begins on November 1.