Source: love-remains-the-same.tumblr.com via olive on Pinterest

Words of wisdom.

heart whispers and rooftops.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about vocation and career lately. About how I will make my mark on the world, and do my part in making it a better place in some small way....My heart has been drawn to this idea of working with clients to create spaces that are soulfully designed, that reflect them at their truest. And another little secret bit to this idea that's been brewing, is how personal styling (wardrobe, etc.) also ties into this big picture. I designed the above board months ago, and it's just been sitting. I called it Global Collected Feminine - I think about who lives in this space sometimes, she is fictional, and yet I know she is out there. Today in an effort to show up more fully and to share a bit of who I really am, I'm posting this mood board as a first step in reclaiming one of my talents.

I don't always call myself an interior designer anymore. Partly because it's only one small bit of me, and partly because I've been separating myself from that identity for a whole boatload of reasons. Linking this love for getting to know oneself on a deeper level, and expressing it in every area of ones life is the component that's been missing in my love for design and styling in general. Saying it out loud - that this is what I do, and this is how I'm thinking about doing it...is another piece of this puzzle that's been missing as well. I am choosing to put some energy behind it now.

There are couple of things that I know for sure about myself - I am a great teacher, I am a very good detective, and putting rooms and outfits together comes naturally to me. If I combine these gifts I've been given (and stop being afraid of them)...it leads me to what I would love to be doing. Helping people (especially women) uncover their unique style. Doing the detective work, figuring it all out, and then sharing what I know about putting things together. Empowering people to do this for themselves.

I'm setting my intention to build a practice that combines styling for the home and whole person. Working with women who desire a deeper connection with the way that they show up in the world, in their daily life, and how that connects to our surroundings, what we wear and creative expression. I really long to work with women in a process of discovery and self empowerment. Self expression at it's purest. I can honestly say that I don't have all of this figured out yet. And that usually stops me dead in my tracks...This time, I am choosing to move forward, through the fear and unknown bits. I'm saying it out loud, even in it's infancy. I want to whisper what my heart says for the universe to hear, so that the energy continues to build, the ball begins to roll, and I can be on my way toward the life I dream of.

Oh and by the way..I am looking for a couple of guinea pigs in the form of beautiful soulful women. I'm also in need of some mentorship if you feel drawn to it/me, I would appreciate any droplets of wisdom. Phew! I'm happy I got that off my chest. Thanks for being here to witness my version of screaming it from the rooftops. xo.

freedom to play.

Last week I read and watched a few things online, and found myself feeling like I needed play. I think of myself as a pretty playful person...and yet, when I look at my days, I have a lot of rules set up around it (play, I mean). I've been looking at patterns and stories in my life a ton lately, noticing places where I believe one thing, and can clearly see another happening. As in the Play area of my life. I can be silly, creative, childlike, and joyful. And as much as all of that is true...I find the amount of space I allow into my life for those things to be small.

I was acutely aware of the need for play the other day after watching this video from a retreat that a couple of dear friends attended. I felt myself pouting. Not because I was feeling jealous about the retreat, but rather, because I was longing to have some fun. I wanted some of that. I can honestly say that in the past, I may have just sank in and thrown myself pity party. I could have gone down a road of thinking things like, I hardly ever have fun, or I want a girls trip, or I want permission to play. On this particular day, as I sat and thought about play, I was moved to take action, I wrote myself a permission slip. I consciously made a choice to make my own fun. I grabbed my phone to see if it had a self timer...and it does in fact, I'm happy to say! I set myself up in front of the window for some impromtu self portrait jump shots. Inspired by Vivienne and her You are Your Own Muse course.

I found myself giggling, breathing heavy, sweating, jumping, and jumping. And Jumping. In the end, I had a shot that I loved, and I also got a few shots that made me laugh even more. It was all about freedom of choice that day. And every day. It reminded me of my own power, and that it's something that I have access to all of the time. No time for pity parties, and wishing to do this or that.

Are you listening to yourself...what are you longing for more of? There is something to be said for making a tiny bit of space for what you are craving. Is it love? Is it creativity? Is it fun? Is it eating more greens? Is it writing? Is it exercise? Is it laying on the grass and looking at the clouds? The point is that you just get up and do it. Not whether you do it perfectly, or often/long enough, or have the right lighting. Or whether you look great while you are doing it. Perfect circumstances & conditions are not a requirement.

If you pay attention, and you are noticing it. That pull....the feeling of, I want some of that...Please do yourself a favor and spend five or ten minutes doing it, or some part of it. Impromtu, half assedly, thrown together, completely unplanned. Just. Get. To. It. You are so worth it. Yes YOU are.

I believe that {I want some of that} feeling, is where we are when we are feeling comparisons, and jealousy. And I think that is where the opportunity is to stand in our own power. Because there is nothing stopping each of us from having it, except ourselves. If we can sit in the feeling, and really look at where it comes from...it all goes back to me, or you...simply wanting some bit of that for ourselves. And that my friend is a beautiful thing...it's your higher self telling you what you need. Take heed, and listen.

What is your higher self telling you that you need more of in your life? Do tell....

Mama got a brand new bag.

I could stay away no longer. I have missed this space. There's been so much going on and I haven't quite been able to articulate it. So instead of waiting until I can be eloquent, I'm just showing up to share what's making me happy today.

While I was out running errands today, I found this bag. It sung to me, and lit me up like a Christmas tree. It's hand stamped fabric, made by artist Valentine Viannay in San Diego. She came home with me (the bag, not the artist), as an early anniversary present. I couldn't leave her behind...she matched my toes! I even got to hug the artist to celebrate. Thank you to my honey...for making it happen.

Hope you have an amazing weekend. xox

celebrating the mom in all of us.

me holding a friend's baby

Whether or not a baby has ever miraculously come out of your body, you are a mother. You have helped mother me, or your sister, or your girlfriend, or your cousin, or your neighbor, or a stranger. You have wiped a tear or a bottom. You have given counsel. You have talked someone you love off a ledge. You have nurtured and natured and gently nudged her to keep going when she was sure she couldn't. You have read a storybook, shoveled a walk, waved across the parking lot, not even realizing you were saving someone's life. – jena strong

This quote was shared on twitter last year, and I can't tell you how much it was appreciated. Sometimes I downplay my feelings around trying to become a Mom. Sometimes I forget that I already am, all of the things that any Mom is.

Today I am celebrating all women, and the divine feminine that lives in each of us. Today I celebrate and send love to ~

Moms with babies.

Moms who have lost babies.

Moms to be.

Women hoping to be Moms.

Women who choose not to be Moms.

Women who cannot conceive naturally.

Women who are struggling with (in)fertility.

Women who are Moms to fur babies.

Women who are nurturers.

Women who are friends.

Women who listen.

Women who are willing to be by your side, any day, any way.

Women whose memories live on.

Women who are sisters, friends, aunts, cousins, daughters.

Women who reach out.

Women who show up when you need someone.

Mother's Day can bring up a lot of emotion for many of us. Whether it's because we don't have children, we've lost a child, or because we are missing our Mothers. One thing that I have found is that those of us that are feeling emotion on this day often get ignored. I totally get that it can be because someone doesn't want to upset me (you), I understand that someone may worry that they will say the wrong thing, or that they don't know how to bring up a sensitive subject. For me...being ignored feels worse. I would rather you acknowledge my feelings (even if it comes out all wrong). This is where I'm at with all of it - you can acknowledge someones feelings without diminishing them or trying to fix things for them.

For example ~

I know you may be feeling tender about _____(or today), I just want you to  know I'm thinking about you.

It's really simple to just let someone know you are thinking about them. Not so simple to leave it at that...but it's all that's needed. I promise. And it applies to any situation. Of course everyone is not the same...some people may want a hug, some may not. Some may want to talk, or they may not. But by acknowledging them, you have showed up in such big way. Maybe even bigger than you know.

For me, it lets me know you are thinking of me, and the fact that I might be feeling tender. It makes me feel like a person, a whole person. I don't feel invisible, or like the damsel in the tower who is separated from everyone else, by a moat and dragon. I say just show up...don't worry about how perfectly you say things, or that you might cause someone more pain. We are going to have our feelings either way. When no one shows up...we are just having them alone.

I cannot adequately express the power of this in words. I'm pretty sure that we have all had women in our lives at some point or another, that were a rock for us, a source of inspiration...They may or may not have been our own Mothers. In fact, they may not have ever had children themselves. But they showed up for us in big ways, out of love. This is worth celebrating today, and every day.

Thank you to the women in my life who show up. I am so appreciative!

happy.ness

these are a few of the things that are making me oh so happy and heartfull this week.

I received a little package of love in the mail...and it contained the original of this! seriously...remember me mentioning that I was loving this print? I cannot tell you how completely grateful I am to have her hanging on my wall, inspiring me to be even more brave in every area of my life...and reminding me that I am loved, not just by this lovely kindred, but by many amazing people. Further testament to the power of reaching out. * I cannot possibly express the depth of my gratitude here for this gift, and demonstration of reaching out. Thank you my dear friend, you are appreciated and loved.


this post by liz.

this post by brene.

a boat load of phone calls, skype calls, emails, and text messages from people that I love dearly. I am so grateful to have such a full life.

this song by adele

and....sunshine!! sunshine!! sunshine!!

the power of reaching out.

I've been quiet here...working my way through Brene Brown's Ordinary Courage e-course. It's good. It's scary. It's so big. There is so much possibility in this work with shame. Life changing, relationship changing, world changing. While it's scary...the thing that keeps coming up for me is power. Looking at the things that trigger shame in me, isn't easy, in fact it's harder than hard...but, if I can truly understand what's happening in those moments, that's where the power is. Instead of swirling in the shit...feeling swept up, and out of control, I am going to be able to recognize what's happening, and use my tools.

It's so interesting to think about shame and how it flourishes in the dark. That isolating, and keeping to myself when I am in the midst of the swirl actually keeps me there longer. Adds to the separation. Shame thrives in separation, and it's what keeps us stuck. Right where we are. One thing (of many) that I will take away from the e-course is that reaching out is worth it. Perhaps it's the longing for connection that we all express. A deeper knowing of this. My soul (our souls) reminding me (us), calling out to us to connect. Come out of the dark. Flourish in the light. Amongst other souls with whom we connect. That sharing is powerful, and life changing for both the listener, and the person who is sharing. If we reach out one person at a time...our world can change.

Yes reaching out can be hard. Especially when you are lost in your own shit. It's easy to think - I don't want to bother others with it. It's easy to think - I'm the only one. It's easy to think - I might be judged. It's easy to think - I deserve what I've got going on. That somehow it's all my fault. I will tell you that reaching out sheds a light on the truth. Tell someone something hard, or big (someone you trust), or start small...reach out and tell someone that you care about them, and you will see what happens...you will find out that you aren't alone. You aren't the only one swirling. That you're loved. Opening the door and letting a sliver of light in, has unimaginable power.

Sharing is powerful, and life changing for both the listener, and the person who is sharing. If we reach out one person at a time...our world can change. And it's all the same world. Right? We are all connected. I'm leaning into this in my life. Starting a ripple. Will you join me?