my move

I've mostly abandoned my space here. Never in my heart, but I haven't been able to find a way to transition here into who I've become. So I've begun again here . I can't say that I've found my writing chops there either {yet}, but I wanted to let you know where to find me. Because honestly, if you are still here I'm pretty certain I love you. xo

a little reflection

Kobe the wonder dog.

I've been in deep reflection all day today...and really every day for the last few weeks. 2011 has been an amazing year...ranging from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows. I wouldn't take any of it back, not one bit. My word(s) for last year (...I couldn't choose between two) were fearLESS and flourish. Looking back over the year I'd say that fearLESSness was a predominate player for sure, and flourish also played it's part. I went to a fabulous retreat in March, where I met some friends in person for the first time, and made some new friends. Mid year I began a year long program so exciting and crazy that I couldn't have conceived of it at the beginning of last year - I'm now closer to actually owning the fact that I am clairvoyant. Every night before I go to sleep I reflect on what I am grateful for (gratitude journaling is something I've done over the years, this is my current take on it). We said goodbye on December 12th to our beloved and first furbaby Kobe, in such a flash that I still cannot quite wrap my mind around it. My husband lost his job. I became a Reiki I practioner.We are packing up the safety of what we have called home for the last 7 years, and will be moving to a new home. I have a regular meditation practice, and I'm more spiritual now than I have ever been. I've developed and deepened friendships that have absolutely changed my world. I became a part of a nurture huddle with an amazing group of women that I feel lucky beyond measure to know. I discovered the power of working with Angels. My Grandma had a stroke several months ago (she's doing well and working on recovery), and my Grandfather passed away the day before my birthday. I participated in SouLodge online. I am more comfortable in my skin than ever, and have a new found trust in myself that still takes me by surprise at times. This is just a small taste of what my year has held. I've absolutely changed on a cellular level this year...and it couldn't have happened if I wouldn't have chosen my word....or if it hadn't chosen me.

I was feeling like I wasn't sure what my word was going to be for 2012, and during a conversation with a dear friend, I realized that my word had already found me. It's been presenting itself to me on a regular basis for a few months now....in meditation, in life, everywhere I look. In 2012 I am welcoming in MAGIC to help guide me. I am completely opening to possibility, and this is one of the things that magic represents to me. It makes me think of being unlimited, powerful, free, hopeful, open. And these are some of the things I hope for myself this upcoming year.

There is so much more to say about the depths of where I've been this year...I know I have lots of writing material! This has been a quiet online writing year for me, partly because of all of the rapid change going on in my world and there's been so much living in my everyday life. I haven't exactly known what I wanted to write, or how to write about it. I've been thinking about whether I want another space for this new phase, or not...One thing I know for sure, is that I cannot wait to see what MAGIC is to come in the next twelve months!! My wish is that a little of that will spill out into the world of anyone who knows me, or reads what I share through writing.

May 2012 be a magical, love filled year for all!!

I'm not in a position to write a full post at the moment...(read - I'm on a borrowed laptop in a design studio that isn't mine), but I want to share this powerful and amazing ceremony that Pixie Campbell has shared with those of us in the SouLodge. She wants to go public with it! The mother of all releasing ceremonies - to celebrate the Winter Solstice. Follow this to her blog where she shares all of the details, and how to's...

If you are in Southern California and want to gather to release...let me know! xox

L O V E.

Sitting here and contemplating how much love there is in this world...if you just choose to see it.

I'm the Captain of this ship.

I'm silencing the crickets. Yes, you read that right...the crickets. There have been a whole lot of them here since Summer. Chirp chirping away...holding space for me. I've been writing in long hand in journals..but I've missed this. The connection that happens here, and out there in the interwebs. I've come to the page several times, sat, began to write, questioned what to write, how much to write. I've thought about whether this is the right place, or if I need another blog...where I am now is not where I was when I began this blog. I suppose a lot of us go through this at one point or another...So much has changed, happened, shifted...and I was feeling like I wanted to catch you up. That felt overwhelming....so I walked away. Too much to say for one post. It can't be done. The other day I got the message. Start where you are. You don't need to run through it all at once, or maybe ever. Just start where you are.

So here I am. Starting in this moment. I'm enrolled in Pixie Campbell's SouLodge, and it's so good. I had heard from a few of my dear friends that the first lodge was amazing, and knew I had to sign up. I am on fire with learning right now. I can't seem to get enough knowledge; I suppose it's because I've found what thrills me, what lights my internal fire. You see, I've connected with a part of me that I didn't know exists (or I did, but it was buried d e e p). I am an inuitive. Yep, I said it. Things have been brewing here since May....actually long before, but I didn't trust it back then. Or even acknowledge it really. In a span of about 48 hours I was led straight into a class that held answers, and a whole helluvah lot of healing. That's what I showed up for, the healing...it's what I wanted most. I found myself thinking that the intuitive part of the class may or may not be my thing. I took a huge leap. A big old Fool's leap, and enrolled. Not much time to think about it. Or get too scared. I can't say I've done anything this brave on such short notice, ever. It was such a big commitment. Once a week for 13 months, and a daily practice in between. Here I am half way through, and loving every second of it.

 The biggest surprise is that I can tap into this part of me. I do readings on a regular basis. I can see how it links to everything I want to do in my life, and who I am. I'm still finding my way, but the path is being illuminated. I have this newfound trust in myself, like I've never known. It's been transformative on so many levels, and continues to be...

This last week or so, I found myself fighting with fear. I haven't been in that place for a while, and I was really trying to fight it. Picture slaying dragons here. And then through some beautiful messages from my higher self, and conversations with wise women, I remembered that there is no fighting it. And I slowed down. Surrendered. The relief that followed was incredible. Everything flooded back to me, the trust in myself. The groundedness. The love. The power. I was beginning to believe that it was the fear of this power - owning it, accepting it, that was sending me into a tailspin. Today in this moment, I'll say that's not the truth. My ego was whispering to me about fear, and safety, and all things that would have stopped me in the past. I appreciate her concern, I understand she's just trying to look out for me. I also understand her place - and it's not decision maker or captain of this ship. Course corrections, and lessons are a part of life. This I know for sure. I'm so grateful to have remembered that all I have to do is grab the wheel.

*we've been in the East on the medicine wheel in Pixie's class...everything lined up for me to (re)learn this lesson at the perfect time.

Source: love-remains-the-same.tumblr.com via olive on Pinterest

Words of wisdom.

heart whispers and rooftops.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about vocation and career lately. About how I will make my mark on the world, and do my part in making it a better place in some small way....My heart has been drawn to this idea of working with clients to create spaces that are soulfully designed, that reflect them at their truest. And another little secret bit to this idea that's been brewing, is how personal styling (wardrobe, etc.) also ties into this big picture. I designed the above board months ago, and it's just been sitting. I called it Global Collected Feminine - I think about who lives in this space sometimes, she is fictional, and yet I know she is out there. Today in an effort to show up more fully and to share a bit of who I really am, I'm posting this mood board as a first step in reclaiming one of my talents.

I don't always call myself an interior designer anymore. Partly because it's only one small bit of me, and partly because I've been separating myself from that identity for a whole boatload of reasons. Linking this love for getting to know oneself on a deeper level, and expressing it in every area of ones life is the component that's been missing in my love for design and styling in general. Saying it out loud - that this is what I do, and this is how I'm thinking about doing it...is another piece of this puzzle that's been missing as well. I am choosing to put some energy behind it now.

There are couple of things that I know for sure about myself - I am a great teacher, I am a very good detective, and putting rooms and outfits together comes naturally to me. If I combine these gifts I've been given (and stop being afraid of them)...it leads me to what I would love to be doing. Helping people (especially women) uncover their unique style. Doing the detective work, figuring it all out, and then sharing what I know about putting things together. Empowering people to do this for themselves.

I'm setting my intention to build a practice that combines styling for the home and whole person. Working with women who desire a deeper connection with the way that they show up in the world, in their daily life, and how that connects to our surroundings, what we wear and creative expression. I really long to work with women in a process of discovery and self empowerment. Self expression at it's purest. I can honestly say that I don't have all of this figured out yet. And that usually stops me dead in my tracks...This time, I am choosing to move forward, through the fear and unknown bits. I'm saying it out loud, even in it's infancy. I want to whisper what my heart says for the universe to hear, so that the energy continues to build, the ball begins to roll, and I can be on my way toward the life I dream of.

Oh and by the way..I am looking for a couple of guinea pigs in the form of beautiful soulful women. I'm also in need of some mentorship if you feel drawn to it/me, I would appreciate any droplets of wisdom. Phew! I'm happy I got that off my chest. Thanks for being here to witness my version of screaming it from the rooftops. xo.